Settling In

Since the last post, I've taken three concrete actions to get life on a more even keel.

Action #1: I had been thinking about how to create a reminder of my commitment to love and value myself, especially when I may be feeling most lonely and vulnerable. Last year I thought that if I ever got into another committed relationship, I would want to create a shared vision with my partner and do an annual retreat together to review and renew it. Now I decided to do that with myself, but to set the time frame at three months, which seems practical and manageable.

Thinking that far ahead and knowing that I eventually want to move back west, it was easy to imagine the kind of work, living situation, neighborhood, friendships, interactions with my family, and financial situation that I want by that time. I tacked that on my wall and made a date with myself in three months to renew it.

Action #2: Then I went to Byward Market and bought myself a $10 plain stainless steel ring that is now on my left hand -- a visual reminder of my love relationship with myself.

Action #3: My coach recommended an article by the Arbinger Institute on self-deception that I have found very, very helpful. In fact, after reading it I bought and read two of their books, Leadership and Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace. The ideas have not only helped keep me on a more even keel, but also gave me new perspectives on conflict and resistance in organizations.

Day to Day

Although I still get lost sometimes, I now know my way around a few main routes. This week I paid $11 for parking when, I later learned, parking a couple rows over was free. The next day I got a $45 ticket for parking where I shouldn't have -- expensive lessons, but I'm learning nonetheless, and most of my days this week have been dry-eyed.

Some highlights since my last blog:

1. A dear friend from Mississauga was in town a week ago, and I got see her and meet her husband. How incredibly sweet it was to be together and make plans to return the visit! To top it off, I have a date to see a Vancouver friend while she's visiting family here in early October. Ah, familiar faces: We take so much for granted day-to-day. Just to see someone I know is such an incredible treasure here. Skype and Gmail's new phone/video feature have given me much joy, too. It is so good to have friends.
2. Walks with my sister. :- )
3. I have a great guitar teacher, Peter Storzenecker -- so positive and encouraging!
4. Networking continues to go well, and there are three preliminary leads for work -- very preliminary, but it's a start.
5. I discovered that my sister's neighbor, Chris Breitner, jams with some other extremely talented blues and jazz musicians, and got on the guest list to see him perform bass with them Friday night -- what a treat! His collaborators include Anders Drerup and Diane White.
6. I finally buckled down and registered for French class, since that seems to be the entré for almost any work here. (I guess the highlight of that is that I remember more than I thought I did.)
7. I'm already getting excited about winter sports and have joined two clubs to get a) people to get out with and b) discounts to make it affordable. Now we just need snow. :- )

I've been here a day short of four weeks now, and it seems like four months -- August was such a very, very long time ago. One day at a time...

Copyright © 2010 Lynn Thorsell, All rights reserved.